A week or so before June 1 the fog returns. I am agitated, sad and lonely. June 1 was the six year anniversary of Matt's death. It was tougher this year, not sure why. My husband took the day off and we went to Lake Chelan as our regular routine on that day. We had a nice lunch and then looked at one of the scrapbooks I had made with cards given us that tragic day. We look at a different one every year remembering all the love sent our way. When we arrived home our son and daughter-in-law were at our house. They were digging on our hillside. He had to have his dog put down. I just lost it. But as we went to their home for a BBQ (first time we had been able to share an anniversary with one of our kids) he handed me a picture of Matt and his dog. He said, "Matthew is up in heaven playing with Damian." A bright outlook on a very tough day.
The darkness has continued through this month - not sure why but maybe it is the lousy weather. The one highlight was getting to take care of my grandchildren for four days while our daughter and son-in-law went to Arizona. At least someone got HOT weather! We had a good time. Now, I am back struggling and praying to the Lord for help out of the fog.
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