Still a blur

A day of thick dense fog reminds me of that first year after the tragedy. Darkness I can't find my way out. I don't want to do anything but by the Grace of God He keeps me upright. I continue to share my story with others who have just witnessed their own family tragedy - that dreaded word - suicide. My prayers go out to all of you suffering from tragedy or whatever you may be going through. My editor and I are working hard to find an agent/publisher. I hope it is sooner than later. I just want to save someone. Pray the real fog goes away soon and that the sun will shine so I can move on.

That First Day

Imagine that phone call in the middle of the night with the fiancee telling you your son has killed himself? Then the undersheriff gets on the phone and tells you that we shouldn't have heard it from her. The Sheriff people came to our home and question after question I continue. Why do you call her his girlfriend she is his fiancee? They tell us she broke up with him a few days earlier. We didn't know. Now I can better put this story together. We talk through things til around 7 AM and then people, family, teachers came out of the woodwork with their condolences and food and.....everything is a blur but so much to do. Around 3 AM our son, Mark, appears. Shocked and angry with what his brother had done. Who could blame him.  Our daughter, Tami, and her family arrived around 9:30 in the morning. They had a 3 hour trip. So many arrangements to be made but we had the sheriff's department on our side. Sgt Mike was our liason and wow! he was good!!!He was and is always by our side whatever we need. Ron was to go to State tennis with his players, now we had a funeral on that very sad day. The Lord held us firm and stayed close by our sides. He is the only reason I stand today.

Special stories

Throughout my book I have some very special stories. Some are tragic and some make me so proud to be the mother of this great son. A pride wells up inside me knowing that a couple of Matt's friends still remember him and what he was all about. Their disappointment that he is no longer with us. At least we all have good memories of him and know that he is in the Lord's hands. I WILL see him again.

A Career Begins

After spending four years in the Marines Matthew continued on with college. His dream job was to become a Chelan County Sheriff Deputy. He worked security jobs and did yard mainteance at a local golf course.  He finished college and then 9/11  hit.  Matt had decided he wanted to reup and head back to Iraq and the front lines. He had his physical done and was waiting for orders when he found out he was number one at CCSO. He called me and said, "Mom I can't reup I'm number one and if I'm offered a job I may never get another chance at my dream job." That was the end of that and a couple of weeks later he was off to the Law Enforcement academy.

Matt the Marine

A SGT. in the Marines.Went to Bahrain on the U.S.S. Nimitz to find Osama Bin Laden! Matthew wrote a story in college on "A Day to Remember." Missed out on the war and was disappointed. Matt thought he might reup but he was number one in his dream job and didn't want to lose out on that. Matthew loved his country until the day he died. Stay tune to see what that dream job was to become.

Matt's Life: The Early Years

Matt was:
Rambunctious
An accident looking for a place to happen
Funny
Shy, quiet
Very sensitive and possibly had low self esteem
Stubborn

You learn about Matt's growing up years and what a fun loving, athletic boy he would turn out to be. Quite the challenge but God always kept His hand on Matthew.