From Sorrow to Joy

The holidays can be difficult for those who have suffered any form of loss. It's a time that's traditionally spent with the ones we love, but what do we do if the ones we love aren't here? What if childhood hurts, addiction, anger, pride, divorce, or death have separated us from friends and family? How do we reconcile the pain we're experiencing with celebrating the birth of the Messiah? God knows better than anyone that we're hurting. Is there a sorrow that is keeping you from experiencing the joy of Christmas? Take some time right now to pour out to God all of your pain so that he can help you walk through the next few days, and give you moments of joy in the midst of your sorrow.

Thanksgiving - 2015

As Thanksgiving approaches we are always thankful for health, family and friends. However, let's make sure we remember those who are no longer with us, with a special prayer for all Law Enforcement, Military, Firefighters and First Responders who are struggling with PTSD or suicidal thoughts. Reaching out to those who Serve and Protect us with a note, email, or text of thanks is certainly appropriate. May my God who is always with me be with you too.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

As the holidays near, you may be dreading these festive occasions because a certain loved one won't be at the table. Or, many get depressed because this time of the year means ever-decreasing sunlight and the approach of the long, cold winter months. Certainly, if a close friend or family member has died recently holidays can be painful reminders. Well, there is light at the end of your tunnel. And no, it isn't an oncoming train threatening to pulverize you. It might come in the form of a note or email from a friend who remembers your situation and seeks to comfort you or a recently found picture or written letter from that lost loved one that brightens your countenance. For some, it might be a Scripture verse like, "God is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Wherever it comes from please remember you are not alone. People do care and God cares. If none of these scenarios reflect your life right now, I bet you know someone who is going through tough times. Go the extra mile for them. Reach out through an invitation, note of encouragement or phone call. Walk with them, not away from them. We all need each other.

Another Suicide

At 4:42 this afternoon I received an email from our church saying one of our members was in ER in critical condition. My husband knew this man quite well and had a feeling....a short time later I noticed we had a message to contact another member of our church. My husband called him back and was told this man had attempted suicide. We immediately went to the ER and met with the Chaplain. The man had past away at 5:00pm. We were so sad - other church members were beginning to gather...the Chaplain knew we had lost our son to suicide so had a chat with the man's wife and she came out and talked with us and told us what she knew. He has three children who now, along with his wife, are feeling a pain that will NEVER go away. Several people there were blaming themselves for not rescuing their friend. Prayers were being said to help the survivors family and friends. This pain runs deep. There is no worse pain. I know - we went through it 10 years, 2 months and 1 day ago. Trust me the pain is still fresh. No, time does not heal this. People do not understand suicide. For those of you who know me and my story you know what I am talking about. I have written "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors," to save lives. My main focus is military and Law Enforcement and first responders because my son was a Marine and Sheriff Deputy. Due to the many pressures they experience daily on the job and in their personal lives they sometimes snap without warning. Our son took his life due to a failed relationship. I don't know why this man took his. Replace negative comments about suicide with a resolve to help in the effort to end it. Let's get those depressed or hurting some help. Stick with your friend, let them know how much everyone cares about them. In September. I will be at Hastings Bookstore (Sept. 12) for a book signing. Also, during the Compassionate Friends' "Walk To Remember" (Sept. 19), the "Out of Darkness" walk (Sept. 26), "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors" will be available for $15.14. This book is not only a story of my son's life but a teaching tool on suicide and how to deal with grief. These last two events will be held at Walla Walla Park. I look forward to seeing all of you at these events. Bring a friend. Let's SAVE A LIFE together with God's help.

A DECADE LATER

Ten years ago tomorrow was the worst day of my life. My son, Matthew took his life due to a failed relationship. I am at peace because I know he is with the Lord. His heart was shattered and he made a fateful decision. I'd like to take this time to thank those who have helped me through these past 10 years. God enables us to stand. The special weekly lunches with Theresa, Tash gave me CD's of very special songs with great meaning when she and Matt dated. Many of Matt's Marine Corps brothers now face book with me. It is so much fun getting to know these men with whom Matt shared much time. His law enforcement brothers and sisters are fantastic - one is always by my side at a moment's notice. You know who you are. CCSO will never know how much you all mean to me. Those of you who have moved on, moved or retired are still in contact with me. I am so blessed to have all of you in my life. Thank you. My beautiful daughter-in-law whom I met the day Matt died. She also met Matt on Memorial Day when he was working his deputy shift at Lake Chelan. Matt missed his brother, Mark's, wedding to Jess and now they have a beautiful baby girl. I know Matt would have loved her as he did his sister, Tami's, kids. Going to the cemetery weekly is a challenge but I NEED to be there. On certain occasions I will find a flower or a bouquet someone left or someone tells me they stopped by his grave - remembering or for encouragement. I light up - SOMEBODY remembers. Little things make me smile. I talk to Matt telling him how much he is missed and how the little things people do that make my day a little better. The cards, calls and hugs mean so much. I continue my journey through speaking and sharing, "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors." Thank you everyone for your support.

Memories

As the days go by and I am connected more and more with Matt's Marine brothers. I am thrilled when a picture of Matt and his Marines pops up. I get so excited - the pain goes away for an instant. I feel Matt's love of his brothers and that they care enough about him to share with me. The very kind comments about Matt's character mean the world to me. I love to hear stories about his Marine and Sheriff Deputy life. God has Matthew now and I know I will see him again. Please remember those who have lost a child, of any age, and share your memories of that person with their family members. It means so much to us. If you don't have a copy of "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors" please purchase one and learn more about Matt's life, The Stigma of Suicide, Grief and some helpful stories from a father, a Marine, Sheriff Deputy, family and friends. Let's prevent suicide by being more aware and reach out to those in need.

I KNOW

. It is not going to happen you . I'll never know anyone who would do that So and so is a loser . Nothing can be that bad Well, let me tell you - I thought most of those things before my Marine Sgt. and Sheriff Deputy son took his life due to a failed relationship. It is the worst pain ever and my passion now is to do everything in my power to prevent future suicides. Instead of sweeping it under the table let's ban together and help SAVE those who are hurting. Chatting with one of Matt's Marine bros last night I found he, also, is trying to STOP suicide in his area. Several Vets are working together reaching out and helping those, or finding help for suicidal, PTSD veterans and first responders in particular. I am so proud of him. Please help us by reaching out to those you know are hurting. In my book, "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors" I go over the Stigma of Suicide, grief, life will never be the same and more. It's available on my website, Amazon.com or you can contact me for a personalized copy. Let's change our attitudes about suicide and help rather than condemn. It cuts me to the core when someone attacks me for what my son did. My pain will NEVER go away but with God's help I stand strong today and more committed than ever not only to aid in suicide prevention but to work with survivors needing support.