The Time Since

My fear came Monday morning  after the funeral. I did not want Ron to go back to work or leave my side. Lucky for me I had friends that kept me busy - walking and lunches as well as all the time I spent at the sheriff's office and Matt's attorney. So much to be done and I had all the time in the world.

We had tennis awards which we did not want to go to but that was our job. The parent's and the players are like family and they were there by our sides.

Throughtout the rest of 2005 we went on a few trips, and kept busy the best we could. Everyone was so good to us. There are some sad but good memories in this chapter. Trying to enjoy the holidays without Matthew was the hardest part of all.

I was stuck in the fog trying my hardest to get out and remember I had other family members to love and do things with.

That First Day

Imagine that phone call in the middle of the night with the fiancee telling you your son has killed himself? Then the undersheriff gets on the phone and tells you that we shouldn't have heard it from her. The Sheriff people came to our home and question after question I continue. Why do you call her his girlfriend she is his fiancee? They tell us she broke up with him a few days earlier. We didn't know. Now I can better put this story together. We talk through things til around 7 AM and then people, family, teachers came out of the woodwork with their condolences and food and.....everything is a blur but so much to do. Around 3 AM our son, Mark, appears. Shocked and angry with what his brother had done. Who could blame him.  Our daughter, Tami, and her family arrived around 9:30 in the morning. They had a 3 hour trip. So many arrangements to be made but we had the sheriff's department on our side. Sgt Mike was our liason and wow! he was good!!!He was and is always by our side whatever we need. Ron was to go to State tennis with his players, now we had a funeral on that very sad day. The Lord held us firm and stayed close by our sides. He is the only reason I stand today.