Website finally working

I am sorry I haven't been blogging. My website has been messed up for quite a while and I am happy to say it is back up and running. In the next month or so I will be blogging more about suicide prevention. It is my hope to save lives through ongoing discussions. The stigma of suicide is so great that we must stop brushing suicide under the carpet. This is a serious subject. These people who take their lives for the most part are reaching out for help and NO one is hearing them. For those of you who are new to my blog or my story my Marine Sgt and Sheriff Deputy son was a Christian who loved God. His finance broke up with him and when he tried to work things out....well, he snapped and took his life. The worst pain I have ever felt. My life will NEVER be the same and I DO NOT want any other person to go through that experience. I hope you will make a commitment to join me in suicide prevention. I have started by writing, "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors" am currently an author and speaker. Sharing my story is my way of combatting the problem. "Matt's Last Call" is available on my website, http//mattcutshort.tateauthor.com, contact me at ztribe21@hotmail.com or Amazon.com. It is also available at Tate Publishing. May God Bless each and every one of you.

HAVE A HEART

I bet you are thinking that I am talking about Valentine's Day. I'm not. I am talking about those of us with broken hearts who continually hear remarks like, get over it, get on with your life, I know what you are going through - most likely they don't. In the past year two of my very good friends lost their husbands to heart attacks. These men were also my friend and let me tell you they died way to young. It has been 9 years 8 months and 12 days since my son, Matthew, the Sgt in the Marines and the Sheriff Deputy took his life. I am still to this day receiving these negative comments and worse. My heart is broken into a million pieces and so are my friend's hearts. I wrote "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors," for several reasons. Number one the Holy Spirit came to me and told me I needed to tell my story, number two, I don't want anyone else to go through what I go through every single day and three and maybe the most important I want to save lives. I want to get rid of the stigma of suicide, the ignorance and the rude comments. There are so many different organizations out there trying to end suicide. But, when NO one cares and just continue with the comments it hurts and it hurts bad. My friends whose husbands died from heart attacks are totally different than my son's death but the comments are the same and cutting to our already broken hearts. I am working with many survivors of not only suicide but other deaths trying to help my friends cope with this new life we don't want. I must say I have Jesus Christ in my life and he is the reason I stand today. He never condemns our loved ones but forgives us/them and he will always love us. If you don't know Jesus ask Him into your heart so you can be saved and have eternal life with our great Father in Heaven. I ask you to please think about what I have said, read the chapter "Life Will Never Be the Same" in my book and learn a little bit more on how we feel. I would also ask you to share this with your friends so that they may change their tune on responses to a survivor. Tell your friends and family, Law Enforcement and First Responders, USMC and all the other military service members. Back to Valentine's Day - my dad's birthday, may he rest in peace. Happy Valentine's Day to all my friend's and their loved ones and most important, say something nice to those of us suffering on this day. A little means a ton to us.

LAW ENFORCEMENT APPRECIATION DAY

Everybody needs a pat on the back once in a while. A written or verbal thank-you, a phone call, a Starbucks card, or a "well done" go a long way when someone labors under a heavy burden. Friday, January 9, 2015 recognizes law enforcement officers in America. Lately, the law enforcement community labors not only under the usual strain of violence and criminal behavior but angry criticism from both mainstream media and certain segments of society. How quickly we forget that if it weren't for law enforcement the chaos in America would be unbearable. So today--and in the weeks to come--take a few moments to recall specific incidents of police protection or help, and then contact a local "cop" and let him/her know how much you appreciate what they do every day. I know I thank an officer every time I see one. So, if you are reading this and you are a law enforcement officer THANK YOU for your service and putting your life on the line for me every day. May God Bless each and everyone of you.

Concerns of Police Survivors Annual Meeting

Last Saturday I attended our annual C.O.P.S. meeting. My husband accompanied me. We have speakers, eat a delicious lunch, have our meeting - a summation of the year along with a raffle and a little quiet time honoring those who left us all to soon. This year was a little different. For the last five or six years we have held our meeting at the Kirkland Police Department. Chief Olsen is a great person and leader. They had just moved the entire Police Dept. into an old Costco building. We were so blessed to get a personal tour of the facility. I asked if they had an opening-for me! There were humongous locker rooms for the officers and a separate locker room for the SWAT team, in addition to an indoor shooting range and beautiful offices. An old San Diego Police car, now with the Kirkland name on the seal graced the entryway along with pictures from the beginning of the department to present. The building was totally secure from "knuckleheads" as the Chief put it. We then had a delicious lunch followed by a speaker, Stacey Sanner. Stacey has worked in photography, fiction and non fiction writing for more than 20 years. Stacey moved to the Seattle area from New York in 2006. She had no past experience with law enforcement but wanted to interview officers on why they wanted to be in law enforcement, their daily routines and how they manage the danger. The hardest part was getting a law enforcement department to say "yes" and allow her to interview and photograph the officers. Most did not reply to her but the Seattle PD said yes. She interviewed and photographed 41 officers and self published a book. It is very well done and we really learn what officers go through on a daily basis. The theme of the meeting was a big "thank-you" to police everywhere for protecting us from what would otherwise be chaos. The three videos were personal notes of thanks from individuals in the general public for specific situations. They were very emotional and a far cry from what we are reading about currently in the media. We left a little early even though I accidentally left our car keys in the front seat of our locked vehicle. Thank God for AAA!

A Long Drive South

Ron and I just returned from Klamath Falls, Oregon where I spoke at three different facilities. The first one I spoke with doctors, nurses, veterans, firefighters, law enforcement and a few general pubic. I basically had a training power point followed by Q & A. The firefighters were called out on a call - I talked with them before the presentation and told them if they were called out I might ask if I could go with them. They chuckled - they received a call - I said, "Be Safe , can I go too?" They chuckled as they left. Before I go any farther I must say my dear husband gave me his nasty cold. Luckily that 7:00 in the morning was the only one I had that day. Throat was sore and voice raspy. My classmate who started this entire process put us up at the Running Y World Mark. It was beautiful. We walked around, ate in their restaurant and then went back to get some sleep and try to recover from these colds. Actually, I spent about two hours getting ready for my second event at 9 in the morning on Wednesday. This was open to the general public. The tech guy told me his story of his friend's suicide. So sad. As I spoke I noticed how intently he was listening. A great young man and so helpful. First thing that morning I received a call from my friend who told me the military event was definitely on. The Oregon Institute of Technology event was a good group of people although not many had and questions. At 1:00 on Wednesday afternoon we headed for Kingsley Air Force Base where we met the Chief!. What a personable man. So much energy and so happy I was able to come speak to his Airmen. As my friend and husband followed us we discussed exactly what he wanted. He shared that 5-6 air force personnel had committed suicide that month due to failed relationships and just wanted me to share my story which was perfect for me. Prior to my speaking we had about an hour to kill. I was all set up so the Chief took us on a tour of the base. We saw the F-15 and learned the process they go through before they ever start flying. He showed us the mechanics room, which is being remodeled, where the Airmen mechanics were working. It was so quiet - I expected a lot of noise. We saw how the engines work. He then introduced me to many coworkers. These people were so friendly and thankful that I was able to come to the base. My husband wanted to take pictures but he wasn't allowed due to high security. The room was filled for my presentation - and off I went. As I shared, "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors," Ron and I did a little role play. One of my main points was to consider all who will be left behind if that awful choice is made. At that point I opened it up to Q & A. As the questions began, the conversation took on a life of its own as one after another shared a personal story or made a comment on someone else's question, etc. Everyone was engaged and talked about what might be done to help the Airmen on base. At the end, I was given a picture of the F-15. So cool. One of my highlights is that before I started speaking I was chatting with two young men who had been Marines. After talking with them for several minutes we realized that they were in boot camp in San Diego the same time Matthew was. They were one and two classes behind him but thought they might have met him. What an end to a fabulous trip. Unfortunately, my cold kept getting worse and worse. However, God made sure my voice held out until I was done speaking. Our trip home was about 9 hours. To my friend - thank you for all the work you did and for believing in me. If we hadn't had colds we would have spent a lot more time with you. May God richly Bless you. Thanks to all involved in this week's presentations.

Opportunity

A high school classmate recently contacted me and wanted me to come to Klamath Falls, Oregon to share my story, "Matt's Last Call: Surviving Our Protectors," and to talk about suicide prevention, grief and death. I will be headed for Oregon next week for three different events with three different presentations. I love sharing my story with others in hopes that I might save a life. God has provided me with the passion and I am a good listener for those who need to talk. It is my hope that through these presentations those in attendance will be able to use the tools to help those in their sphere of influence.

A Little Light Penetrates the Darkness

A little light penetrates the darkness on July 30, 2014 at 9:17 pm as my son and his beautiful wife give birth to a beautiful baby girl. At 6 pounds 7 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long she brings light back into my life. Such a sweet cuddly baby as I hold her and speak quietly to her. Her Uncle Matthew would have loved her - he was very fond of his other two nieces and nephew. Out of the darkness of his death a little life and light springs forth. God has Blessed us so much with this gift.