Reflection

Christmas is a time to reflect on the true meaning of the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. What a blessing He is. I thank God for His Son and all He has done for me. May you all have a very Merry Christmas.

Christmas

My shopping is done as is the baking and gift wrapping. The hustle and bustle of getting things done often stresses people out. That is why I start early and finish early so I can enjoy the season. With carolers singing in the background I find myself beginning to sing along, something I haven't done much of since Matthew died.

There is still my broken heart and missing Matthew so much at this special time of year. It was  his favorite time of year. I have a tree with all his ornaments in our family room. I especially like his hockey ornaments as he loved to play hockey.

There will be an empty place at our table but the memories live on. I know I will someday be with Matthew again. I look forward to those days. In the mean time I thank God for Matthew's life and for keeping me strong.

More Tragedies

As I turn on the news there are many more tragedies, suicides, murder, drunk drivers hitting and killing innocent people. This is one of the most tragic times of the year when it should be one of the happiest times.

There are many reasons for these tragedies - a person who has no one in their life, illness, loss of a child or loved one and the list goes on. Please don't drink and drive, or use drugs. There are places to go to get a hot meal. Go to church - God is everywhere. Why not ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. He is the one person you can always count on.

I pray for each and everyone of you - this is a tough time of year.

A Tough Season

For those of us who have lost a child this is a very tough time of year. I have lost several friends and two aunts this past year as well as Matthew, 6 years, 6 months and 12 days ago. Not a day goes by when I am not thinking of him. Christmas for Matthew showed the little kid in him. So funny and a joy to have around. He always had to have his stocking higher than anyone elses. He loved Christmas dinner and just being around family. He is soooo missed.

Last night Ron and I went to the Compassionate Friends candlelight service for the first time. A very touching night. One couple had lost their son just a few short months ago. They were so torn up and my heart just went out to them. Please say a little prayer for all of us this Christmas season.

This is a very hard time for many people. May God hold all of us up and help us get through this month.

The Christmas Season

Christmas has always been my favorite time of the year. It has been very difficult since Matthew died but I am pushing forward and remembering his favorite holiday also. The Christmas music has been playing (only the second year since he died) as I bake bread and Christmas cookies. I missed my kids as well as my grandkids because I love to bake with them. However, I probably made more of a mess this year than with all of them together. Only good part - I got to lick the beater and bowl!!! YUM!

I'll finish shopping tomorrow, I hope.

Remember: JOY IS CONTAGEOUS

Washington State Concern of Police Survivors Suicide liason

A month ago I was asked to be on the board of Washington State Concern of Police Survivors as the Suicide liason. It is such an honor to work with such a great group of people. I hope I can help those who have lost a loved one to suicide. I will listen well and let them know it is ok to feel the way they do. I live the pain everyday so I understand. I hope when my book is launched that it will help those who are grieving as well as those who may be contemplating taking their own life.

Peace be with you all.

Suicide

Suicide - what an ugly and senseless word. Last night as I was watching the news they announced a 15 year old boy took his life due to bullying. They said 18 teens take their own lives everyday due to bullying! The pain I feel is unbearable.

Come on people - we need to be kind to everyone. God made each of us as he wanted. No two are alike.God wants us to be kind and caring, not mean and cruel. How would YOU feel if someone made fun of you? Or, maybe you have or are being bullied. Don't give those who bully the pleasure of seeing your dispair. Find someone, anyone who WILL listen and talk with them on how you are feeling.There is help out there.

Those left behind who love you, parents, friends, family, the list goes on and on, are crushed. Their hearts are broken in a million pieces. I know, I am living that life. My son took his life due to a FAILED relationship. He had NO clue how much he was loved or should I say he was so devasted that he could not see or think clearly. One second that's all it takes.

PLEASE don't do it - I am begging you. That is why I have written the book about my son. "A Life Too Short:Matt's Story" it will be out late spring. I will keep you updated on time.